We’re not only capable of improving our personalities; even we can develop it in many ways. Previously we didn’t understand this or believe that it’s possible though!
In 1890 William James, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote in his influential work The Principles of Psychology, that personality was “set in plaster” by early adulthood.
This view prevailed for over a century; however, the idea that personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now at the point where we realize that we have influence and control over which traits and characteristics we want to develop or refine.
Personality refers to the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors which make a person unique. By saying a person of good personality, it’s meant that he is likable, interesting and pleasant to be with.
By nature, everyone wants acceptance from others. For this, a good personality is vital – probably even more so than good looks.
In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately, it is your personality that determines whether people are attracted to, or shy away from you.
While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we have the ability to improve the personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate into our personalities any trait we deem fitting and agreeable.
- Remain happy and lighthearted
Try to see the joy in the world. Laugh with others but not at them. Everyone appreciates someone who is jolly and jovial. Smiling and laughing a lot is a huge part of having a good personality. Be aware of laughing unnecessarily, it affects your personality.
- Try to stay calm in tense situations
A lot of people seem like they have a good personality until you see them in an emergency or tense situation. Then they lose their cool. Don’t be like this one! If you are in a tense situation, try to remain relaxed and see what you can do to resolve the situation.
- Keep an open mind
One part of having a good personality is being willing to change your worldview. Listen to others and always be willing to change your mind. Don’t pass judgment on other people just because they act in a different way than you do. Keeping an open mind will allow you to make new friends and probably live a much more interesting life. There’s no need to shut off parts of the world.
- Develop modesty
You could be the most talented, extraordinary person in the world but if you don’t have any modesty then you won’t have a good personality. Always keep yourself level and balanced. Nobody likes a big ego.
Learn to love other people
Many bad personalities develop because people do not want to forgive each other and find themselves overwhelmed with hate and anger. Try to find love for everyone.
Being an inquisitive person is part of caring for other people and it will also make you a more interesting person in turn. Try to find out what others find interesting and important. You’ll learn a lot and you’ll help them feel valued.
Don’t betray those who are close to you. Your loved ones will appreciate you more and more if you remain loyal. You can push through a rocky part in your relationship if you remain loyal to the person.
Offer support and guidance
Don’t try to act like you know everything but always try to offer to help hand to people when possible. This could be something as simple as helping a friend move out of their house or more involved support for life guidance. Offer whatever insight you may have but don’t try to sway them too far in one direction. Respect people’s decisions and opinions.
Think positive thoughts, both about yourself and others in general
The thoughts that we think soon turn into the words we say, the things we believe and the actions we take. Having good thoughts about yourself gives you self-confidence and self-respect: a hallmark of any good personality. Once you become aware of your own thoughts the process of guiding them in the right direction through positive thoughts will become effortless.
Show your true self
We often come across opportunities in our day-to-day life to express our personality. Do it! Don’t try to fall in line with the crowd. Having a good personality doesn’t mean that you are like everyone else. For example, if you are in a conversation with a group or an individual, try not to just constantly agree with everything that they say. Insert your own opinions and stories in a respectful and engaging way.
Focus on the good parts of your personality
It’s easy to get down on the parts of your personality that you need to work on. Try to avoid that. Pay attention to the parts of your personality that you think appeals to other people and try o showcase that.
Commit to working on the parts of your personality that you don’t like
Maybe you think you talk about yourself too much or that you become impatient too quickly. It’s important to recognize these things but not to hate yourself for it. Try to pay attention to the way you are acting. The next time you start acting impatient you can catch yourself and try to respond differently to the situation.
Try to find out who you are
Look deep inside yourself and think about who you are. It’s one of the most difficult things to do but it’s also really important. Try to sort out the difference between the ways you act and your real personality.
Decide what matters to you
Remember, it’s a lot harder to find out what matters to you if you aren’t even sure who you really are yet. Don’t choose the things that matter to you just because other people told you they were important. Find out where your true heart lies.
Having hobbies is a big part of having a good personality. You want to be a well-rounded person, not a cliché. Try to throw yourself into the things that you enjoy doing. You don’t even need to be good at them – just passionate.
Have an opinion
Having an opinion is an important part of having a good personality. You don’t just want to be a nodding automaton. You naturally should have an opinion anyway but sometimes people suppress their opinions to avoid conflict. Don’t be obnoxious about your opinion; just be well-informed and willing to change your mind. Don’t be afraid to ask others about their views and share your own.
Spend time doing the things that matter to you
Whether it’s playing the guitar, reading the news or learning how to fly a plane or whatever it’s, if you enjoy it then it’s worth spending time doing. The more time you spend doing things the more knowledgeable you’ll become. Do this for yourself, not for letting others think it’s cool that you play guitar.
Become a better listener
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you making you feel like you’re the only person in the world.
Read more: Read something every day
The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you become. In this why you have more share with people and enjoy more interesting company.
Have a goal for your life
Many strong personalities are shaped and molded by big visions and goals that they have for their lives. Determine what it is that you want to accomplish most with your time on earth, whether it is to start up a charitable organization or become a successful painter. Setting goals is a major step on the road to developing a more engaging and fascinating personality.
Know your faults
To identify and develop what it is good about you, it is important to first admit and acknowledge your setbacks. Having the ability to say that you are not perfect can be endearing because it is so rare — most people try to ignore and push away things that they don’t like about themselves. But you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. So discover your faults and make them your strong point.
Expand your mind
Become a more intriguing and well-rounded person by widening your universe. Learn to speak German, travel to Costa Rica to learn surfing, mediate, design your own clothing, take cooking classes; if you are interested in something, pursue it. Avoid excuses such as not having enough time — after all, you only have one life to live.
- Don’t judge people all the time
People with weak personality traits have this problem — they are constantly judging and evaluating people and they are constantly worried what people think about them and how people react to them. Worrying about others’ reaction is not going to solve your problem. When you stop judging people you can be more relaxed and be yourself by doing that you will be able to live your life more.
- Have positive affirmations
While speaking to yourself speak positively; control your inner dialog. Use positive affirmations phrased in the positive, present and personal tense. You may follow these:
“I like myself!”
“I can do it!”
“I feel terrific!”
“I am responsible!”
We believe that fully 95% of your emotions are determined by the way you talk to yourself as you go throughout your day. The sad fact is that if you do not deliberately and consciously talk to yourself in a positive and constructive way, you will, by default, think about things that’ll make you unhappy, lower your self-esteem or cause you worry and social anxiety.
- Have positive Visualization
Perhaps the most powerful ability that you have is the ability to visualize and see your goals as already accomplished. Create a clear, exciting picture of your goal and your ideal life and replay this picture in your mind.
All improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental pictures. As you “see” yourself on the inside, you’ll “be” on the outside.
- Have positive Mental Food
Just as your body is healthy to the degree to which you eat healthy, nutritious foods, your mind is healthy to the degree to which you feed it with “mental protein” rather than “mental candy.” Read books, magazines, and articles that are educational, inspirational or motivational.
Feed your mind with information and ideas that are uplifting and that make you feel happy and more confident about yourself and your world.
Have positive training and development
Almost everyone in our society starts off with limited resources, sometimes with no money at all. Virtually all fortunes begin with the sale of personal services of some kind. All the people who are at the top today were once at the bottom and sometimes they fell to bottom several times.
The miracle of lifelong learning and personal improvement is what takes you from rags to riches, from poverty to affluence and from underachievement to success and financial independence.
When you dedicate yourself to learning and growing and becoming better and more effective in your thoughts and actions, you take complete control of tour life and dramatically increase the speed at which you move upward to greater heights.
- Be courteous
Being courteous is never out of fashion and is well appreciated and respected by everyone. Be humble and greet everyone with a smile. Never shy away from helping or supporting your peers and being available to them whenever they need you. Doing random acts of kindness will not just make somebody else’s day but also make you come along as a pleasing person. Also, it’ll give your personality a confidence boost. Be humble and down to earth to your juniors and seniors alike.
Work on your body language
Body language is just as important for your personality as your verbal communication skills. It tells a lot about yourself and helps people in making accurate conjectures about you. Everything including the way you walk, sit, talk or eat leaves an impact on the people around you and having a correct body language can do wonders for your personality. Walk in an upright position with shoulders straight. Do not drop. Sit in a relaxed posture and make always eye contact while speaking.
Check your attire
Let’s not abruptly begin to emphasize about your exterior self instead of your skills and abilities but one’s attire has an important role to play while making a desirable impression. And not just that, but it also gives yourself confidence boost knowing your surroundings in mind. While flashy colors and too much body tattoos or piercings convey an unprofessional attitude, neatly ironed clothes make you look presentable.